A tradie has been rushed to Bendigo Health following a catastrophic smoko mix-up that saw his body violently reject a standard café flat white.
Jim Shankman accidentally grabbed his site manager's drink and took a sip from the cardboard cup, yelling, 'What the hell is that crap?' before collapsing into a stack of Gyprock.
Paramedics arrived within minutes and identified the issue as acute systemic shock.
Medical staff said the condition was caused by the sudden introduction of actual espresso and microfoam to a digestive tract heavily conditioned on refrigerated iced coffees and service station pies.
A doctor told The Bendigo Standard that the patient's body struggled to cope without its usual intake of additives.
'When his body was exposed to actual coffee beans, his heart didn't know how to handle the lack of preservatives,' the doctor said.
'It was equivalent to putting premium unleaded into a 1959 Volkswagen Beetle.'
At press time, Mr Shankman was hooked up to an intravenous drip containing Dare Iced Coffee.
Site managers have since mandated that all café coffee brought onto the premises be clearly labelled with a biohazard sticker to prevent future casualties.
