Newly elected Mayor Thomas Prince has wasted no time bringing Bendigo together by confirming what locals have known for decades — the traffic situation in Huntly and Epsom is utterly f**ked.
“I’ve driven through Epsom during rush hour,” Prince said at a press conference. “It’s like every car decided to attend the same wedding at the same time.”
Council says plans are underway for a new “Traffic Management Task Force,” which will explore revolutionary ideas such as “adding another lane”, “not putting another housing estate there”, and "monster trucks."
Locals reportedly cheered the announcement from their driver’s seats, some celebrating with two honks and moving forward half a metre.
“If sitting in a queue behind a V-double for 47 minutes doesn’t unite us, nothing will,” Prince said.
