In a heroic stand for morality, Bendigo councillors have rejected plans for a McDonald’s near Strathfieldsaye Primary School, declaring the community safe from fries, burgers, and Happy Meals, while conveniently ignoring the dozens of KFCs and Hungry Jack’s right near other schools.
"It’s a win for kids," said one parent, sipping their eighth Slurpee while scrolling through Uber Eats. "We might get Colonel Sanders to do our cooking tonight", admitted one councillor to The Bendigo Standard, nervously looking around.
Strathfieldsaye parents will remain vigilant against future fast-food threats, despite parents from other schools repurposing KFCs as school drop-offs.
City of Greater Bendigo has promised to re-review the plans, taking into account health impacts, road safety, and whether some councillors can finally admit they don’t like clowns.
