Astronauts aboard the International Space Station reportedly looked down at Earth this week, only to be greeted by a stretch of tramworks cutting through the Bendigo CBD - the longest inconvenience in human history.
“Initially, we thought it was a river,” said one astronaut, speaking from the International Space Station.
City of Greater Bendigo confirmed the tram line upgrade stretches further than the Great Wall of China, the Pyramids of Giza, and possibly the patience of every Bendigo resident. “We always knew the project was ambitious,” council spokesperson Norm Roberts told The Bendigo Standard, “but seeing it from space really drives home how inconvenient it is.”
Residents have adapted to life with the mega-construction in creative ways. Some have started camping at the fountain, claiming it is the “spiritual midpoint” of the tramworks. Others have begun leaving tiny shrines of coffee cups and leftover sandwiches along the lane as offerings to the “god of eternal gridlock.”
City of Greater Bendigo has assured locals that the tramworks will “eventually” end, likely sometime after Mars is colonised.
“If NASA ever needed proof that local councils can make life universally pissed,” said Professor Clive Hemsworth, trafficologist, “they’ve got it.”
