Gizmo the Maltese Shitzu is reportedly dealing with emotional trauma after his owner, Daniel Pretzel, pretended to throw a tennis ball.
It started as an innocent game of fetch, but when Daniel faked a throw, hiding a tennis ball behind his back while telling Gizmo to “Go get it”.
“His tail stopped wagging immediately,” said part-time dog sitter Karen O’Reilly. “He ran two steps, looked back. You could see it in his eyes that he finally understood that humans are capable of evil.”
“Now Gizmo brings it halfway and drops it like he’s saying, ‘You want it so bad? Go get it yourself, asshole.’”
Experts confirm that pretending to throw the ball ranks among the top ten most manipulative acts in the animal kingdom, alongside “pretending to go for a walk” and “telling a dog the vet is the park.”
At press time, Daniel was attempting to rebuild trust with belly rubs and kabana.
