A wave of calm washed over the nation this morning after 32-year-old local man Liam Rowdy officially confirmed he did, in fact, have a “big weekend.”
The announcement came after several hours of speculation among coworkers, family members and at least one barista, who noted that Rowdy’s eyes looked like “two burnt meatballs in a bowl of sad soup.”
Witnesses report the confirmation occurred at approximately 7:52 am when Rowdy shuffled into the worksite office wearing sunglasses indoors, holding a Powerade and muttering, “Mate… don’t even start.”
Rowdy was reportedly spotted at the pub on Saturday night “warming up,” with his evening also including an interaction with a kebab shop owner he calls “chief.”
“Oh mate… You have no idea,” he said, before slowly lowering his sunglasses and whispering, “I’m never drinking again,” a statement insiders later confirmed was untrue.
The Bendigo Standard believes the nation will again face similar uncertainty next Monday.
