Bendigo residents have celebrated the news that someone in town had snagged a $919,000 division-one lotto prize before quickly remembering that, in 2025, it's basically enough for a used Toyota Hilux and maybe a three-bedroom in Strathfieldsaye.
The winner, who has yet to come forward, is believed to be somewhere between “mildly pleased” and “existentially disappointed” after realising their windfall won’t even touch a Melbourne house deposit or cover a decent wedding with an open bar.
Local economist Mel Davis explained that $919,000 in 2025 terms is roughly equivalent to finding a crisp $50 bill in your jeans in 1975 — exciting, but not enough to significantly change your life.
“I used to think a million bucks meant freedom,” said Epsom man Travis Day. “Now it’s like… congratulations, you can afford interest-only repayments on a tiny house with asbestos.”
Lotto spokesperson issued the usual statement about “life-changing money,” though sources close to the situation confirmed the phrase now translates to “maybe you can finally get your gutters cleaned.”
