A gruelling 11-hour marathon operation carried out by five leading surgeons in Melbourne has resulted in the world’s first successful removal of a clingy girlfriend in a fight against Stage 4 neediness.
Emily Murphy from Ballarat was surgically detached from her partner, Brad, earlier this morning, with the de-clingification procedure hailed as a landmark moment in both medical science and the universal struggle for personal space."They said it couldn't be done, but thanks to my diligent team, Brad and Emily's life and relationship have been transformed for the better," Dr Steve Gregson told The Bendigo Standard.
As for the couple, they can now enjoy a life free of 'where are you?', 'With who?', 'Do we have to go?', and 'Who are you texting?'
"Already we can feel how much our lives have changed, we're both so happy. Emily hasn't once texted me 'Why haven't you responded yet?' I enjoy my personal space and hanging out with my mates that Emily hates - it just wasn't possible before. We're beside ourselves with happiness," Brad explained while at his girlfriend's side in the hospital as she recovered from the surgery.
"Now I can watch The Voice without Brad sighing every 3 minutes," Emily said.
Though it is in the trial stage, thousands of husbands, wives, girlfriends, and boyfriends have signed their partners up for the procedure, with waiting lists now extending well into 2041.
