A fast-talking entrepreneur showed up at a town hall meeting here Tuesday night, promising a monorail that he claims will finally put the city "on the map."
Wearing a suit, Lyle Lanley caught the town hall's attention. He described a rail system that would create jobs and offer a fresh perspective.
"There's nothing like a genuine, bona fide, electrified, six-car monorail!" Lanley told the crowd.
"I've sold monorails to Ballarat, Wangaratta and New Gisborne, and by gum, I've put them on the map!" Lanley said. He then led the audience in a well-rehearsed musical number.
One mother told councillors she would rather see money spent on repairing roads.
The monorail is planned to run from Bendigo Marketplace to Huntly and back, but no one knows how much it will cost ratepayers since no one asked.
Although the project was approved quickly, many residents remain split on the idea.
"I love a monorail, don't get me wrong," said local historian Jeff Trotter, sipping a pint at the Shamrock. "But I also like not being in debt for a vanity project. Maybe I'm just old-fashioned."
Supporters believe the monorail will put Bendigo ahead of larger cities like Geelong and Melbourne.
"We barely have enough people riding the bus, but imagine how much fancier a futuristic single-track ride will be for two blocks!" said self-described future enthusiast Todd Barkley.
Lanley told the council the monorail would be running by the end of the year, after he finishes a similar project in Shepparton. He was last seen there loading a suitcase of cash into a 1997 Toyota Camry.
At press time, a local policeman's pudding can suffered a suspicious ring failure.
