Throngs of Bendigo locals descended upon the Town Hall yesterday to witness the grand opening of an envelope.
The envelope, which sources believed contained a rates bill, had its moment in the spotlight as attendees marvelled at the sheer audacity of its contents.
"This is a game-changer for Bendigo," exclaimed one overly enthusiastic attendee. "I never thought I'd live to see the day when an envelope could captivate a whole town."
With the precision of a bomb disposal unit, a council staffer sliced open the envelope using a gold-plated letter opener reportedly purchased with the proceeds from last year's rate hike. It revealed a bill for $3,599.
The crowd erupted in chants of "What the actual F***?", "How can it be that much?" and "I thought we just paid the rates last month."
City of Greater Bendigo has promised more community engagement events, including next week’s ceremonial clicking of ‘Reply All’ on an internal email.
