In an act of courageous optimism and misplaced confidence, local woman Jessica Harnett, 34, made the heroic decision last night to approach the self-checkout at Woolies, fully aware that at least four items in her trolley would require staff intervention, emotional support, and possibly divine intervention.
Witnesses say Ms Harnett had a watermelon, a cube of Coke, some knot rolls, and a pack of M&M's. "That's four red flags right there. I mean, the self-checkout practically cries when you scan any one of those," said onlooker Trent Muldoon.
Approximately 20 witnesses heard Jessica mutter "screw this" after the machine demanded a supervisor confirm the M&M's weren't stolen.
At press time, Jess was heard muttering, "Should've just gone through the express lane," which psychologists describe as one of the most common regrets.
Despite the ordeal, Jess insists she will "definitely" use self-checkout again because she has to.
