VICTORIA, Australia — In what experts are calling “Tuesday,” Victoria has witnessed a once-in-a-lifetime event after a hailstorm reportedly set fire to a rainbow.
“It’s just a totally normal day,” said Karen Tiplady, brushing ash from her puffer jacket while reapplying sunscreen. “I left the house in a beanie, got sunburned in the driveway, and now my lawn’s on fire from a lightning strike. Pretty standard, really.”
“We’ve got frost warnings in Mildura, flash floods in Geelong, and someone’s ute melted in Stawell. It’s like the weather’s trying to show off like a 6-year-old performing for their parents in the loungeroom,” said CSIRO spokesperson Lauri Havelock.
Nearby, local farmer Shazza McTavish casually walked her llama, Larry, through a shallow lava stream. “Larry doesn’t mind the heat,” she said. “I’m more worried about him getting sunburn on his ears.”
Meanwhile, Stuart from Sale toasted marshmallows on a tree that had spontaneously ignited from lightning. “It’s all about efficiency,” he said. “Breakfast and fire hazard in one.”
At press time, the Bureau of Meteorology had issued an updated forecast for tomorrow, predicting light showers, gale-force winds and clear skies all before lunch.
More to come.
