A Tinder date has decimated the annual New Year's Day match after being recruited as an emergency fill-in.
Dave spent most of the match standing near the Hills Hoist trying to explain to his increasingly devastated mates that he "had absolutely no fucken idea" his date played first-grade cricket at uni.
Lauren proceeded to nail six consecutive boundaries.
The group argued whether her caught-and-bowled dismissal of Dave's brother Mat counted under the one-hand-one-bounce rule.
"I thought this would be like sausages and a few drinks," Lauren told The Bendigo Standard. "Instead, I'm watching a 38-year-old accountant argue that my catch didn't count because I wasn't holding a beer."
Dave was later informed via group chat that Lauren was now a permanent selection and that he had been dropped to 12th man.
At press time, Dave was seen frantically texting Lauren about a second date.
