A carob Easter egg gifted by Aunt Carol was placed in the kitchen bin last weekend, sources confirmed.
The bunny, cleverly wrapped in foil designed to clearly deceive children, spent approximately three seconds on the kitchen bench before being placed in the bin.
"Why does Aunt Carol hate me?" Timmy Nike-Slide asked his parents.
Aunt Carol purchased the carob chocolate on her last visit to a health food store after reading that it is "just as good" as regular chocolate, a claim that has never been true.
Carob, a brown powder, was invented by Satan himself in the 1970s to punish children. It has been masquerading as a chocolate alternative despite containing no caffeine, no theobromine and no joy whatsoever. It continues to be purchased exclusively by relatives who are allergic to fun and think sugar is "basically poison."
At press time, the bunny had been joined in the bin by mum's sugar-free hot cross buns and a gluten-free Big M.
