Residents of Greater Bendigo have this week confirmed what they have known since 1871: that the Easter Fair is on this weekend and will involve rides, humans standing close together and eating food off sticks.
"It's going to be exciting to see so much colour and vibrancy," said Mayor Thomas Prince, whose job requires him to say this.
The annual event, which sources close to the situation describe as "family-friendly," will once again take over Rosalind Park and surrounding streets from Friday to Monday, transforming the area into what officials are calling "a vibrant precinct."
Several roads will be closed. People will lose their minds trying to find a car park. Couples will be yelling at each other. Some will say, "screw it, let's just go to The Zone."
The fair will also feature the Easter egg hunt, in which a confirmed 100,000 eggs will be hidden in Rosalind Park, where several hundred children will systematically destroy them in under five minutes. The Way of the Cross will be performed for those who wish to reflect on their own mortality. A Queen tribute act will perform Saturday evening, because there is always a Queen tribute act.
The event, which is one of Australia's longest-running community festivals - except for 2020 and 2021, when it wasn't - has been described by the City of Greater Bendigo as "a major highlight in the calendar" and "something for everyone."
The Rotary Market will be there. So will the rides. A man will spend $45 attempting to win a stuffed animal for a child who will lose interest in it before they reach the car.
