Staff - Bendigo Standard News (Page 20)

Citizens Now Required to Roll D20 for Housing Approval

In a bold move to inject a dose of unpredictability into the housing market, city officials have announced that citizens are now required to roll a 20-sided die (D20) for

By Staff

/ 6 Mar 2024

Citizens Now Required to Roll D20 for Housing Approval

"I'm A Red Posting Box And Mail Makes Me Horny"

The red posting box outside the post office in the CBD has come forward with an unexpected confession: it gets hot and bothered every time someone slides mail through its

By Staff

/ 5 Mar 2024

"I'm A Red Posting Box And Mail Makes Me Horny"

Mayor Excited to Attend Conference in Portugal, Because Who Needs a Functional Local Council Anyway?

In a move that has left locals Googling the distance between Bendigo and Portugal, Mayor Andrea Metcalf is set to jet off to Braga for the UNESCO Creative Cities Network

By Staff

/ 5 Mar 2024

Mayor Excited to Attend Conference in Portugal, Because Who Needs a Functional Local Council Anyway?

Bendigo Ford Fun Run Returns This Sunday Because Walking is Overrated

The Bendigo Ford Fun Run is set to grace the streets of Bendigo once again on Sunday. Organisers are calling on locals of all ages to participate, promising an experience

By Staff

/ 1 Mar 2024

Bendigo Ford Fun Run Returns This Sunday Because Walking is Overrated

Lansell Square Gym Buffs Feel The Burn In Epic Battle Against Daniel's Donuts

Members of Anytime Fitness at Lansell Square are exercising their dismay as they find themselves surrounded by the irresistible allure of Daniel's Donuts, conveniently located a dumbbell'

By Staff

/ 1 Mar 2024

Lansell Square Gym Buffs Feel The Burn In Epic Battle Against Daniel's Donuts

Poppet Head Takes Well-Deserved Spa Day; Residents Wonder If It's Getting Botox

The iconic poppet head in Rosalind Park has decided to close its steps for repairs. Sources close to the rusty landmark reveal it's finally taking a spa day

By Staff

/ 29 Feb 2024

Poppet Head Takes Well-Deserved Spa Day; Residents Wonder If It's Getting Botox

Age-Defying Bendigo Man Declares, "I'm 9!" Throws Leap Year Birthday Bash for 36-Year-Old Self

Barry Gibbons has decided to celebrate his 36th birthday with all the zest and zeal of a 9-year-old on a Leap Year. Friends and family were left scratching their heads

By Staff

/ 29 Feb 2024

Age-Defying Bendigo Man Declares, "I'm 9!" Throws Leap Year Birthday Bash for 36-Year-Old Self

The Most Popular Airtasker Job For Each Bendigo Suburb

Intro In a groundbreaking investigation that nobody asked for, The Bendigo Standard has delved into the enigmatic world of Airtasker to uncover the most popular job in every nook and

By Staff

/ 27 Feb 2024

The Most Popular Airtasker Job For Each Bendigo Suburb

Victory Christian College Proposes Name Change After Melbourne Victory Loss

Victory Christian College in Bendigo has proposed a name change following Melbourne Victory's recent loss. Unable to cope with the soccer team's defeat, the school'

By Staff

/ 26 Feb 2024

Victory Christian College Proposes Name Change After Melbourne Victory Loss

Collectors Gather at Maldon Antique and Collectibles Fair to Prove They Can Still Use Cash

Thousands flocked to the Maldon Antique and Collectibles Fair over the weekend, not to buy priceless artifacts but to showcase their ability to handle physical currency still. Amidst the dusty

By Staff

/ 22 Feb 2024

Collectors Gather at Maldon Antique and Collectibles Fair to Prove They Can Still Use Cash

Entire Town Somehow Convinced Lake Weeroona Is Absolutely Not a Giant... You Know, Phallic Symbol or Anything!

In a stunning display of collective denial, residents have somehow convinced themselves that the picturesque Lake Weeroona looks like anything but a colossal phallic symbol.Despite its shape, locals remain

By Staff

/ 22 Feb 2024

Entire Town Somehow Convinced Lake Weeroona Is Absolutely Not a Giant... You Know, Phallic Symbol or Anything!

"I Really Have No F***ing Idea If It's The Red Bin This Week"

Kangaroo Flat resident Mark Lexmark admitted today that he has no clue whether the red bin is supposed to go out for collection this week. Since the council changed general

By Staff

/ 21 Feb 2024

"I Really Have No F***ing Idea If It's The Red Bin This Week"