Hey there, insider!
We love that you're keen to contribute to The Bendigo Standard. Before you fire off that spicy headline idea about potholes, possums or politicians, here’s how it works around here:
✅ What You Should Know Before You Submit:
Submission ≠ Publication
Just because you submit a headline doesn’t mean we’ll run it. Think of this more like throwing a dart in the dark and hoping it lands on the one good idea you’ve ever had.
Pitch List Purgatory
Every headline goes onto our internal pitch list. This is where your idea will sit alongside other gems like “Local Man Shocked to Discover Kmart Not Open at 2am” and “Council Accidentally Does Something Useful.” Then we go through and delete the crap ones. Brutal, but fair.
We’re Ruthless (Because We Have To Be)
Less than 20% of submissions make it into full articles. The rest? Gone. Vanished. Forgotten like last year’s Easter eggs. Don’t take it personally — some of our best ideas never made it either.
Be Original
We want satire, not recycled memes. No puns about “Dan-demic” or “Mate-washing your hands.” We’ve seen it. Twice. In 2020.
What Makes a Good Headline?
It’s absurd, but weirdly believable.
It says something truthful, while saying it in the most ridiculous way possible.
It could be read aloud by a deadpan newsreader and still make someone spit their Big M.